The purpose of this research is to find an in-depth and holistic understanding of the betrayed wives’ healing process. Also studied is any supporting factors that helps them in their healing process. This study uses qualitative method with case study design. Participants are researcher’s clients, which consist of three wives whose husbands are involved in extra marital affairs. They have been in therapy for at least six months or undergo at least ten continuous therapy sessions. This research uses several data collection methods, as data triangulation, to improve the credibility of the research. The main data source is the researcher’s notes taken in the therapy sessions. In addition, the researcher also conducts additional in-depth interview to inquire the participants’ healing process in details, and the supporting factors that help them grow in a positive direction. Another source of data is observation through the therapy process. The result shows that husbands’ infidelity causes an extremely negative impact on the well-beings of their wives. They simultaneously undergo many intense negative feelings and this condition is usually extremely hard for them to experience. Every individuals go through their unique healing process, but in general they all go through the following stages: 1) shock and disbelief, 2) experience and coping with intense negative emotions, 3) talking about marital problem with the husbands, 4) repairing the damage. Healing process is influenced by internal and external factors. The factors that are significant in healing process are: religion, emotional supports, personality characteristics, positive changes of the husbands, self-actualizing activities, and therapy process.

Bahasa Abstract

Penelitian ini bertujuan untuk memperoleh pemahaman yang mendalam dan holistik tentang proses healing pada istri yang suaminya berselingkuh. Disamping itu juga ingin diketahui faktor-faktor pendukung sepanjang proses tersebut. Penelitian ini menggunakan pendekatan kualitatif dengan disain studi kasus. Partisipan penelitian adalah tiga orang istri yang mengikuti terapi perkawinan dengan peneliti dalam jangka waktu minimal 6 bulan atau setidaknya telah mengikuti 10 sesi terapi. Untuk meningkatkan kredibilitas penelitian, peneliti melakukan triangulasi sumber data. Data utama diperoleh dari catatan selama proses terapi. Sebagai tambahan, dilakukan wawancara mendalam untuk menggali proses healing secara lebih mendetil dan faktor-faktor yang membantu para istri berkembang ke arah positif. Data lain juga diperoleh melalui observasi sepanjang proses terapi. Hasil penelitian ini menunjukkan bahwa perselingkuhan suami memberikan dampak negatif dalam kehidupan istri. Mereka mengalami berbagai emosi negatif secara bersamaan yang tidak mudah untuk dihadapi. Setiap partisipan melalui proses healing yang unik, namun secara umum mereka melewati tahapan-tahapan berikut ini: 1) terkejut dan tidak percaya, 2) mengalami dan mengatasi emosi-emosi negatif, 3) membicarakan masalah perkawinan dengan suami, 4) memperbaiki kondisi perkawinan. Proses healing dipengaruhi oleh faktor-faktor internal dan eksternal. Beberapa faktor yang secara signifikan membantu proses healing adalah: agama, dukungan emosional, karakteristik kepribadian, perubahan positif pada suami, aktivitas yang mendukung aktualisasi diri, dan proses terapi.


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